This is Pete.
For those unfamiliar with Pete: between earning approximately $100k per year, making a few smart investments in properties, and living frugally, by 30 he had enough money to never work again. So, he retired.
Technically, he didn’t stop working. Since he no longer needed the money, he decided to focus only on projects that piqued his interest. Most of these involved various construction projects and his hugely popular financial independence blog , where he teaches others how to retire early.
In many ways, Pete is the one who popularized financial independence for millennials, which is why his recent blog, The Ultimate Life Coach, really struck me:
Almost nineteen years into early retirement now, I’ve come to realize that the complete freedom of this lifestyle can be a double-edged sword.
...in these last few years, I have started slowing down, and it has become more and more difficult to wrangle and focus myself to get these things to happen as often.
Instead of constantly bouncing around the construction site building cool things, or falling into laser focus on the keyboard finishing an article that I just had to share with you, I found myself retiring to the couch earlier and earlier each afternoon, seeking distraction on the phone and wishing I had the energy and focus to do those other more enjoyable things.
So I fought back, by learning more about health and wellness. Trying to study and train my way into more energy and focus and motivation. And you’ve seen some of the results here, in articles I’ve shared about daily habits, steering clear of excessive comfort, and more.
And all of these things really work, IF you take the knowledge and actually put it into action. And therein lies the problem:
I kept learning effective new things, and successfully incorporating them into my life. They would work for a while, but gradually my brain would invent various excuses to stop doing them consistently, leaving me with plenty of knowledge but far too little accomplishment to show for it.
Until finally, just a few months ago, I realized that I had been sabotaging my own progress by turning my biggest life advantage into a disadvantage:
I have been using my freedom too much – in order to avoid doing things that I didn’t feel like doing.
See, freedom is great if it frees you from leaving your children at 5am so you can drive an hour through a traffic jam to sit in an office building for nine hours. But that same freedom goes to waste if you then just plunk the kids down in front of a playlist of cheap cartoons while you lounge in the corner to scroll Facebook all day.
You need to use it to do things that are even more valuable than the job you just quit. And if you can’t do that, you might as well just keep the damned job.
Here's the father of the financial independence movement saying that maybe we actually should keep our jobs.
It’s easy to dismiss advice like this. It sounds a lot like the line we hear from rich people: “Money can’t buy happiness.” To which I used to think, “Well, let me learn that lesson the hard way.”
But that’s the wrong response.
The point of studying people like Pete is to learn from them. He’s achieved what many of us want to achieve. We should pay attention when he offers advice.
When Pete says, “Maybe you should keep your job,” or when the wealthy say, “Money can’t buy happiness,” they’re not saying, “Life is better if you’re poor.” What they’re actually saying is, “Hey, you’re overestimating how many problems money can solve. It won’t fix internal struggles.”
I’ve heard enough rich people say this now that I’m starting to believe it. One day, when I’m financially independent (hopefully by 2032🤞), all my material needs will be met. But I won’t be any happier—at least, not more so than I am now.
The big lesson to take away from all of this is: if we want to be happy when we reach financial independence, we need to learn to be happy in the present.
There’s something else in Pete’s words, though—I think he’s lost his sense of meaning.
For many of us work gives us meaning, if only because we have to work to survive. You've got to have money to pay for food after all. But for many people who attain financial independence, and then stop working, they lose their sense that their life is going somewhere.
I suspect that these people had empty lives before they reached their financial independence number but they had the benefit of a job to distract them. It's hard to think about how pointless your life is if you need to focus on paying your bills.
I don't think this is unique to financial independence types. After all, when I see dual career parents who spend their days running kids around to multiple events and are constantly adding more to their schedule. I often wonder, "what are you running from?"
Still, it does seem to be a pitfall of the financial independence movement that once you lose the need to work, you'd better find a really meaningful way to fill your time or your life will feel empty. I think this is why so many wealthy people start philanthropic organizations and why so many grandparents move close to their grandkids. Both feel the need to spend their time doing something outside of themselves.
Reaching financial independence, then, has two big problems. It won't make us happy (even though we keep telling ourselves that it will), and it reveals a lack of meaning (which we are usually unaware of since we're fighting to survive).
There's a third problem for counselors.
Many of us become counselors to escape soul deadening careers and to do meaningful work that will make us happy. We were lawyers who liked the social aspect of talking with clients. We were teachers heartbroken about the home lives of our students. We were pastors who wanted more skills in order to help church members.
What happens to us when we become disillusioned with counseling and burn out? Where do we go then for meaning and happiness?
I suspect many of us turn to financial independence as counselors as the solution to burn out. We hope that having enough money to retire will cure our burn out and make us happy. If the wisdom of Pete is true, it won't. We still have to fill our time with meaningful work and with meaningful work comes the risk of burnout.
The solution then is to get busy now. I won't say we should give up on financial independence for counselors. I don't believe being broke is somehow virtuous. I do think that for those of us on the path, while we're working to reach financial independence we might as well, right now, get busy learning to be happy, finding meaning in our lives, and dealing with burn out.
This is important because what the world needs is healthy wealthy people. We need a class of people who have the resources to make real change in the world and the emotional health to do it without reenacting their trauma.
Parents need healthy grandparents to babysit so they can keep their sanity. Kids need wealthy parents who can afford to take time off and come to their recitals. Grand parents need adult children who have the emotional maturity to sit with them during hard diagnoses.
Best,
Jordan (the counselor).
(Watch 20:18-20:44)
If you liked this post, consider reading this next. It's more about financial independence for counselors.
Jordan Harris, Ph.D., LMFT-S, LPC-S, received his Doctor of Philosophy in Marriage and Family Therapy from the University of Louisiana Monroe. He is a licensed professional counselor and a licensed marriage and family therapist in the state of Arkansas, USA. In his clinical work, he enjoys working with couples. He also runs a blog on deliberate practice for therapists and counselors at Jordanthecounselor.com.